The Newbie's Guide to Being a Newbie

Since I only have three months left in this pregnancy I'm starting to get lots of advice from mothers (some solicited, some not) on what to buy and/or register for and what to avoid. When the subject turns to diapers I thank them for their advice and quietly mention that we are planning on cloth diapering.

The responses vary greatly. I've gotten, "Okay," (laced with a hint of sarcasm and a look of "heh, she has NO idea what she's up against." My sister flat out said, "Yeah, good luck with that." My mother said, "Oh, trying to save the planet are we?" And almost everyone else said, "Well, umm, I'd at least have some disposables on hand just in case."

The last is certainly good advice and what we were planning from the start. Especially for traveling or for babysitters and nursery times at church so that caregivers will not have to deal with the hassle my husband and I have decided to take on.

However, the interesting thing to me is that these responses usually only come from people who have never tried it. Or, in my mother's case, haven't done it in 30 years and don't know the advances cloth diapering has made since her oldest was in diapers.

The few (three, to be exact) cloth diapering mothers that I know have all had the same response to my decision and it goes something like, "OH GOOD! You'll be so happy."

With that encouragement, I'll proceed as planned.

As to why we chose to try cloth diapering (and I do mean "TRY" as I am certainly able to admit when I've bitten off more than I can chew)? The reason is nothing more grandiose than our family's economics. We are trying to save money, period. The people who assume we are doing it for environmental reasons or because we are going to be those "all natural" parents are happy to assume away, it's just not true. Our reasons are financial based and that's it.

And how much are we REALLY going to be saving by cloth diapering? According to my math, about $2,000 - $3,000 per child depending on brand of diaper and how long it takes for that child to potty train.

Sure, there is an initial "start up" cost with cloth diapering you don't have with disposables, but that's to be expected with anything you purchase to reuse again and again. The cost can range from acceptable to outrageous, depending on what you get sucked into buying. There are the cheap flimsy diapers you can buy at Target that will fall apart in less than a year, but there are also some cloth diapering supplies, detergents, liners, bags, systems that are so expensive you'd spend $500 for a single day's supply. Sure, they're reusable, but at what cost? Also, one must be careful because, like any new endeavor, a new mother can be scammed into thinking she needs more of the most expensive stuff to be getting the best for her baby. The trick is finding what's a good balance between frugality and quality.

I'll admit, I was almost sucked into believing some of the hype, but a cool head prevailed, I did LOTS more research, took the advice of moms who have been doing this for years and with many children and came out with a starter stash that has so far cost me under $200 and that I believe to be of great quality. In fact, one of the cloth diapering moms that has been one of my go-to gals for advice on the topic has accused me of buying the expensive stuff as she professes to have great success with what is considered in the cloth diapering world to be a "lesser" brand of diapers than what I purchased.

All I know is that I want the things to LAST.

But let's face it. I would have never even considered this if I believed it was going to be too much to take on. I like the easy road just as much as the next gal and if there wasn't something that made me believe this wasn't such a big deal I would have said, "Whoa, no way!" coughed up the extra dough and stuck with disposables.

So what made me think that this was doable? Simply put; it doesn't look all that different from disposables.

When I first thought of cloth diapers I thought the same thing everyone else who is unexperienced with them would think, the huge piece of cloth that needs to be folded in a triangle, crudely pinned in place and the huge plastic pants that need to be slipped over top that don't necessarily stop leaks but at least contain the poop.

Boy, was I wrong!

A simple Google search of "cloth diapering" will give you more information than you could sift through in 100 years (I know because I've spent the last year trying to sift through it and I'm barely scratching the surface) but the first thing you will find is that cloth diapering is FAR from the picture painted above.

There are cloth diapers that so closely resemble disposables that from a distance and from a new user perspective, one could never tell the difference. These are called All-In-One's (AIOs) and are among the more expensive, but easiest to use of cloth diapers. A friend of mine had one of her brand new BumGenius AIO diapers thrown away in the church nursery because the nursery worker thought it was a disposable. The AIO diaper affords the luxury of all the absorbent layers of cloth and the cover being sewn together in a single package. The only difference between them and a disposable is throwing them in a diaper pail and washing machine instead of the garbage.

A close cousin to the AIO is the Pocket diaper. Like the AIO, the pocket diaper has fasteners and shapes like that of the disposable. But unlike the AIO the pocket diapers core absorbency is an insert that is stuffed into a pocket. The benefit is complete cleaning and fast dryer time and pre-stuffed pocket diapers are as quick and easy as AIOs.

A BumGenius 3.0 One-Size Pocket Diaper

They run about $18.00 a diaper but some moms consider them well worth it and exclusively diaper in nothing but one-size pockets or AIOs. This is because the diaper is designed to grow with the baby providing use from the day you bring him home from the hospital to the day you can finally put away diapers forever. You need a large stash, of course, to provide you with many changes between washes and that's why this option can get a little pricey. But if you are smart (eh hem, like me) and shop around you can get lucky. I managed to snag two of these for $7 a piece and intend to use them for night time and for babysitters who aren't going to have to stick around long enough to discover these aren't disposable (provided they don't throw them away, of course).

The most economical system, however, and the one I chose to go with is the prefold and the cover. And as the woman in our motherhood tea said this morning, "What is a prefold?"

A prefold is very simple a diaper. A diaper that replaced the flat, folded panels of yesteryear. Very simply they are made of absorbent material (usually cotton) pre-folded (hence the name) across itself for thickness and added absorption (with the thickest portion being in the center, where it is most needed) and stitched along the top and bottom.

Unbleached and Bleached prefolds.

As there are many brands of clothes and shoes, some better quality than others, there are many brands of prefolds, some of greater quality than others. If you go to the baby section of your local WalMart or Target you will likely find a pack of prefolds for pretty darned cheap. I know, I almost bought some, but luckily for me I did some research into what makes a good prefold. The big store brand prefolds are little better than taking a $1 cotton t-shirt, sewing it together and calling it a diaper. The cotton in those shirts has been stripped, bleached, dyed, processed and is usually so thin it will last you about 5 months (if you're careful) and won't absorb much more than you'd expect a cut up t-shirt would.

A quality prefold has cotton that is as unprocessed as possible. Unbleached is preferable as bleach (though it makes things nice and bright) breaks down the fibers and wears out the material faster. The prefolds I have heard about and read about as though they were sewn by the hand of God are Chinese made, commonly referred to as CPFs (Chinese PreFolds).

They run about $2-$3 a diaper depending on size and whether the diaper is bleached or unbleached but they are the foundation upon which the whole prefold, cloth diapering system is build so they must have good quality and can be used for life, even after the baby has potty-trained and moved on. They make great kitchen towels, cleaning rags, burp clothes, you name it. Anything you can think of needing an absorbent cloth for you can use them for. Best yet, the resale value is phenomenal! Used Chinese Prefolds on eBay still sell for about $1.50 if not higher and sell like hot cakes. So even if your baby outgrows his or her size of prefold and you can't think of a reason for keeping them around you can always sell them and get almost all your money back to either reinvest in the next size prefold, keep, or buy the next size covers for your baby.

Which brings us to covers.

Once, when I was very young, I found a plastic pair of what I thought was underwear in my underwear drawer. I must have only been about four and to me, underwear was underwear, so I put them on and went about my business. They were ugly, SO uncomfortable, they crinkled and crackled with every step I took, they itched, pinched my legs and were generally HORRIBLE. They also were so waterproof that my butt sweat all day and because no air could get in to cool me I had sweat pooling in my "underwear" which was pretty gross. Only later, when I complained to mom that I hated my underwear did she burst into laughter and tell me I had stumbled across an old cloth diaper cover she used to use on my brother when she cloth diapered him.

These old diaper covers were all that was available in that day. They made up in heavy waterproofing and elastic bands what they lacked in beauty and comfort and many a diaper rash was formed because of their inability to "breath" and allow air to the baby's bottom.

No wonder cloth diapering almost went extinct with those things and if that was the only option I certainly wouldn't be sitting here writing this because I wouldn't even be considering cloth diapering.

But, alas, there is hope. Technology has allowed us so many advances it decided it would give us another one in cloth diapering covers as well.

Behold, the new diaper cover!

A Thirsties Aqua Diaper Cover

It's cute, it's colorful, it fastens just like a disposable, and best yet.. it's made of soft polyester laminate lined with a very special waterproofing that allows it to be as breathable and light as it is cute!

There are as many different diaper covers as there are diapers themselves made of different materials with different ways for them to be fastened. I don't have experience trying different covers so I took the easy way out. I went to a cloth diapering website that has a section just for reviews. I clicked on "Diaper Covers" and started reading. I read why the top reviewed brand got the best reviews and why the bottom reviewed brand got the worst reviews. I read the reviews in the middle to make sure I wasn't missing anything and then I made my decision based on the feedback of moms who'd been doing this before. I'll be sure to tell you if I chose wisely or not but I'm confident that I did.

Because there is such a variety in covers they can come in a variety of costs. The ones I chose run about $11-$12 a cover, but I'm told you don't need many covers (I'll find out if this is true in about three months). If the baby just wets the diaper the cover can be wiped out and reused immediately. If he soils the diaper, as long as the cover does not get soiled you can do the same, just a wipe out of the cover and back on the baby with the new diaper. Anywhere from 4-6 covers per size is what I've seen recommended. And again, if you are smart and shop around you can get them gently used for less. And the resale value on them is great. Once my baby grows out of a particular cover size I plan on selling them to fund the next size up.

Now you might be thinking, "Wait. That's it? What about the good old diaper pins?"

They aren't mentioned because, well, they aren't needed. You can use them if you want but the modern covers act as all the fastening you need. Fold and place your prefold diaper in the cover, put the diaper and cover on baby, fasten like you would a disposable and Whella! you're done.

But pins and other fasteners are not dead, they've just evolved like everything else. If you want the extra security of the diaper being fastened before covered there is a quicker, better ways to go about it than going for the pins and it is called the Snappi.

A Snappi fastened to a prefold.

The Snappi is a little Y-shaped stretchy fastener with plastic teeth on the ends of the "Y" that grip the diaper and hold it together. A Snappi is the quick and easy way to secure the diaper without pins and takes no time at all to put in place if you want it. You need VERY few Snappis because they are easy to rinse should they get dirty, durable enough to use over and over again and one-size so a single Snappi will last you your entire diapering journey. They go for about $1-$2 depending on where you buy them and many moms only have two or three total. A $6, one-time purchase that will last a lifetime. Not bad, says I.

Pins can still be used if you want good secure fastening, especially for kids who have learned how to take off their own diapers and while I may consider getting more pins just as a security measure some day, right now I only have two that were given to me and while I've practiced with them I don't foresee needing them any time soon.

There are dozens upon dozens of other diapers and combinations that I didn't even touch on because I know nothing about them. I am as new to this as they come and I am keeping this journal more as a reference at this point than anything. If I succeed I want to be able to go back and say, "Wow, that's what I did and I did it right. Great." If I fail I want to be able to go back and see what I did wrong and if I simply need some adjustment I can go back and correct myself or guide other moms through the mistakes I made so they don't have to go through the frustrations I might once my baby is born.

And speaking of frustrations, this wouldn't be a good newbie guide to being a newbie without talking about cleaning the diapers. This is usually where potential cloth diaper users go running for the hills. The thought of dealing with, washing, storing, cleaning, dirty diapers just turns their stomachs. Or, the mother would do it but the father is whole-heartedly against it because HE doesn't want to deal with the frustration of it. That's understandable. I honestly don't want to deal with it any more than the next mom, but it really does come with the territory, doesn't it?

I'm lucky so far. The only washing I've had to do of diapers is the prep washing. I put brand new CPFs in the washer and then the drier and that has been the extent of my diaper washing to this day. I'm so proud of myself.

But when the little man gets here I don't think it will take me long to discover whether this was a good idea or not. I'm not above admitting that after my first runny, poopy, newborn blowout you just might find my entire stash up for sale on eBay and me running to the nearest drug store for a pack of disposable diapers. But I'm encouraged by my cloth diapering mom-friends who have been through that stage themselves and are still cloth diapering.

But Science has made advances in this area as well with the invention of flushable liners. The liners come in a roll similar to a roll of toilet paper or paper towels and you line the baby's diaper with one before putting it on. Some liners are designed to be durable enough to be washed and used again if the baby only wets himself but then flushed down the toilet if the baby soils himself leaving you without the mess or agony of scrapping or rinsing off poop. You can get rolls of 100 for less than $7 or cheaper depending on the quality and usually they run very large and can be cut down so you get twice as many liners as what you paid for. Sounds good to me!

However, while investigating caring for my diapers I did discover that they do require a little more TLC than your t-shirts and jeans. For one, you have to consider the kind of detergent you use.

A lot of popular detergents these days have brighteners and whiteners and "stay fresh longer" additives in them that coat diapers and affect their absorbency. And an nonabsorbent diaper is a useless diaper so, like me, you may have to switch detergents.

I was a strict Tide user until I learned that Tide is not only harsh on diapers and shortens their lifespan (similar to bleach) but also contains additives that affect their absorbency. Great, so I'd have nonabsorbent diapers that only lasted half as long as I needed them. But I still wanted to make sure my diapers would get clean. I'd much rather have a diaper that had a shorter lifespan than a detergent that didn't actually clean it.

I also had to consider that we, as adults, don't pee all over ourselves and then sit in our clothes for minutes or hours waiting to be changed. We have no idea how our urine or poop can interact with added chemicals in our detergents to give us rashes or chemical burns. I also needed a detergent that was going to be good and gentle to my baby's butt!

Once again, I started down the road of research. I researched water, detergents, cleaning agents, fabric softeners, spot removers and how all of them individually or combined can effect cloth diapers and skin. I even put some emails out to a couple detergent companies to get their advice and heard back from a few. I spent probably a whole week trying to find the perfect detergent for the life, cleanliness, and care of my diapers.

For my type of water (and yes, I called the apartment complex to inquire about my water) I chose Charlie's Soap.

I've already switched to using it on all of my laundry and I have to say I'm pretty darned impressed. Granted, smelly sheets, BO and dirty knees in jeans are a far cry from poopy diapers and I'll report back on how well it cleans heavy messes when we get there, but for now I'm happy with my new detergent. I found a good place to go for diaper friendly detergents is either the internet or your local natural food store. They tend to carry soaps and detergents that have as few additives as possible for better prices than you'd get buying them online after shipping and tax is wagered in. I happened to be lucky enough to find Charlie's Soap in a store not one block from our apartment for $3 cheaper than I was able to find it online. A good deal for someone trying to pinch pennies.

I don't have too much to say about cleaning just yet because I'm still trying to get a good system down for my washing machine and my system may very well change once the dirty diapers start getting added, but at least I know I'm using a detergent that is beneficial to the health of my baby and his diapers.

Like I said, I'm a newbie. And I'm making this journal more to help me put everything in place and keep myself in check and remind myself why I'm doing this. If, later, another new mom wants to consider cloth diapering she'll get the honest truth from me. I'll show her what worked for me and what didn't and I'll use these notes to help me.